Early morning self-musings…

 

Today woke up really furious on myself.

I had just slept at 3 am, only to be woken up at 6 am with a loud alarm. Lack of sleep really makes me grumpy and jittery. But I have not been doing anything to remedy my lack of sleep. Today, in the early morning quiet, all my mind tells me is “you did wrong, you should not have wasted your time watching junk TV”. Unfortunately, the right time to tell this to myself is not today at 6 am but  yesterday at 10 pm when I was tempted to start watching TV instead of retiring to bed.

And I have been doing these blunders very often last few days, spoiling my health too in the bargain.

So, it’s very natural for me to get all worked up and angry on myself.

But is this the right way to deal with it now that the time has already slipped out of my hands?

While doing some self-reflection, I realize I am again making the wrong choices. Where is my self-compassion? Where is the love and forgiveness that I would have for my spouse when he would do the same thing? I would definitely get irritated with him but never this kind of extreme loathing towards him that I have for myself currently.

This is self-sabotage and I really need to help myself with finding out ways to deal with it.

I will do my best to look for solutions but in the meanwhile I wanted to remind both you and me “Sometimes the hardest things we need to do, are also inevitably the right choices you make for yourself”

When in doubt, remember this!

 

 

I have not been blogging that frequently. I know I love to put my words on paper and share my thoughts but somehow, I just could not bring myself to blog in these past few months. In fact, since the “you know who” virus – I have not really been my optimistic self. And I felt blogging something when I am myself not in a happy space, is a worthless task. That is until today, when I read one of my favorite poems. I hadn’t read it in a long while.

I would love to put a few lines of this poem for every one out there who, like me, are struggling with existential questions or not-so happy thoughts. To remind both you and me, that this too shall pass. And what remains, will just be memories of how we felt and what we did about or in spite of it. So, buck up and give your best shot to all that you do or face!

We all will just be fine and there will be light beyond the dark, promise!

If you can't be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can't be the sun be a star;
It isn't by size that you win or you fail —
Be the best of whatever you are!

P.S: For those who liked the above lines – they are from the poem ‘Be the Best of Whatever You Are’ by Douglas Malloch 👼Go read it – quick 2 mins read but will definitely stir up some inspiration👍