The show goes on!

 

During the day,

Your game plan is on,

You are busy ‘being’ and ‘doing’,

But in the stillness of the night,

All the lies that you live,

Creep up slowly back in sight,

 

You despair cause

It’s then that you realize,

You can fool the whole world,

But your conscience knows,

No matter what you do,

Or portray,

 

It knows all the cracks and crevices,

Every broken piece,

Of your soul,

 

But it tells you to hang on,

Cause the darkest night,

Brings the brightest morning,

 

You want to argue,

And contend with it,

“What if I stay at the Nordic Region?

Where the sun may not ascent?!”

 

 

It reminds you gently,

Even if you are in the Nordic region,

There will soon be a time,

When the sun will eventually shine,

 

So on and so forth,

The show goes on!

 

Dogs or Cats??!

 

Hi Dear Ones!

Here is a very random episode from down below my memory lane.

Long back I met one of my friends for a chat. Something kept distracting me while she spoke – her hands! They were bruised and looked bad. Now, this is really awkward – asking her if she tried to harm herself (it was near her wrists) or if someone was abusing her physically because you know, I can get extreme exaggerated thoughts sometimes 😓

So, I slowly asked her, “All good with you?!”

She: Oh yes, why do you ask? Why that concerned look?

I: umm, your hands (pointing to those bruises.)

She: Oh this!! (started laughing, it’s nothing serious – just my cat!!! 😺)

I – Blank (thinking what does that even mean 😒)

She (smiling indulgently 😻): Arre, my cat din’t want to be pet and I did just that. Got clawed due to that!

I – Astonished (What!! Whaaaat!! 😟)

That meeting turned me from a “no-animal” person to a “dog-person” 😅 At least I knew for a fact that dogs are the most faithful and loving pets. So even though, I don’t foresee myself having a pet anytime in future, I would definitely go for a “Dog”, if I had to 🙆

Are you a dog lover or a cat lover??

P.S: I have great respect for a cat lover 🙏– You loving them reflects how selfless and generous a heart you carry cause If I had to love my pet, I would definitely want it to return the same 💗

My take on ‘Success’!

 

Everyone wants to be successful these days: you and me!

But after a lot of reflection, I realized that success is very very personal and custom made for each one of us. There is no one parameter for “success”.

It’s something everyone wants to achieve but if you are not careful and self-aware you may end up chasing someone else’s parameter for success.

And today I want to share with you a few thoughts which helped me realize this!

There was this phase of my life where I wanted to earn more and more money, my responsibilities were growing and I thought the faster I earnt money – the better I will be in life. For this, I took up a very challenging job which sucked almost 13-14 hrs of my day. Being the lady of the house, the remining waking hours went in doing household chores and sleeping. I felt like I had no life left, I started falling ill very frequently. I was so worked up that soon there came a point that come Sunday evening I would start feeling nauseous and a very deep feeling of despair fell on me as if my life will soon be over – A case of extreme Monday blues. I had no time and energy to do anything but work over the weekdays. Money was flowing in at a fast and rapid pace, but so were medical bills and emotional outbursts.  

It was in this weak moment, I realized I can’t go on like this with my life. I had become a walking and talking misery person. So, I quit my job. Yes, I was very fortunate that I could do that because I had a loving husband who readily took the onus of running the house (really very grateful for that!).

Then I entered the phase of unemployment – initially it felt so good after the above phase of my life! My days were blissful with good 9 hrs sleep, 2 odd hrs after doing household chores in the morning and then I had the whole day left to pursue whatever I wanted to. I read books, saw loads of movies, Netflix and Amazon Prime browsing the whole day was a dream come true. But after the initial euphoria died down, I realized I don’t really have the luxury to casually shop during a Myntra Sale, I can’t really go and have my favorite Starbucks coffee! Opps, what had I done? Since the time I had started working, for last 10 yrs., I never had to think twice before spending money on myself. But things were different now, what I would spend would be my husband’s hard-earned money! I was left with only a lot of free time. But I felt that anything I would want to do with my free time needed money like learning a new skill, casually going to a café!

To top this unemployed phase and add to the misery - I fell majorly ill! Dengue physically drained me out for a month or so. Due to a lot of compulsory resting, I worked myself up so much that I started losing my peace of mind thinking of all sorts of negative thoughts of being stuck in a limbo in life, of being a failure. Both my physical and mental health were in shambles. Fortunately, I had a counsellor in my house, who helped me come out of that depressive state of mind.

It was during this phase of my life that I realized with utmost conviction that success for me is really the sweet spot between health, wealth and good relations! Any one aspect missing and I am  miserable.  

So I have come up with this formula for Success: 

Good Health + Decent Wealth + Nurturing Relationships = Success

P.S: What is your formula for Success? Eager to know!😊

Important ~ Not Urgent

 

1. At the back of your mind, you know you have to call the friend whose calls you missed because you were in a work meeting.

2. You know you should exercise daily but well, that cozy early morning sleep is undeniable.

3. You know you always wanted to pursue that hobby but then again who has the extra time?

4. You know you should be eating a wholesome diet but food parcels/takeaways are easier in your busy schedule.  

 

Blah blah blah, Common situations so many of us face these days. 

We end up postponing things for later.

But when we pause and face the harsh reality, Life is uncertain and finite. Period.

 

Ref 1 pt: Work will always keep you busy, go talk to your friend NOW!

Ref 2 pt: Sleep is important but so is exercise – don’t wait till you face a health issue to start your exercise regime.

Ref 3 pt: There will be lot of time seepers in your life but even then, save some for yourself, your hobbies.

Ref 4 pt: Food takeaways may give you temporary respite but it will sap a lot of your time if you lose your health due to lack of proper diet.

So go ahead and make a “Important- Not Urgent” list today!  

And every day when you tick off items from your “to do” lists, try squeezing in one or two points from the “Important- Not Urgent” list too!

That way those important things may not end up becoming urgent and critical later ✌😀

P.S: What are the points in your “Important- Not Urgent” list – Comment to help me know you better!

My Angel!

 

 

That gentle smile which would

reflect her kindness,

The urge to give

without any show or grandness,

To be there for you

in your lows and sadness,

Oh! Would definitely miss,

Memories of her with utmost fondness!

Lucky are those who knew her,

Whom she called her own,

They will always celebrate her,

Cause there’s only love she has sown!

In the end, only that mattered,

Her heart fluttered,

To spread love and cheer,

And not indulge in any fear!

My experience of a digital detox…!

 

I had a nice refreshing weekend.

My weekend goals, as posted on my Instagram on Friday, were to spend maximum time with my loved ones, eat good food and sleep a little extra. The one thing I didn’t mention was “Digital Detox” because I was not really sure I would be able to pull it off.

Off course I consciously tried to avoid electronic gadgets (cell phone/TV/Laptop) as much as possible. But I realized that gadgets are so ingrained in our lives that it is difficult to part away. I use my phone as an alarm clock, as a camera to capture all precious moments, as a meditation guide through apps etc.

It was super funny to observe that the cell phone has started acting like the ‘id’ in me (Reference: Freud Psychoanalytic Theory) with no curbs on it. Whatever I wish to do, I have to do it along with or through my phone! Heck, it even gives me a notice that it’s time to drink water because for 2/3 hrs. on a stretch, I did not update my water consumption in the ‘water reminder app’.

Come to think of it – it is crazy 😮

How we dance to the tunes of a gadget. It tells us when to get up, what to do when we have any doubts about something (Google Devata) and where we are headed in life (literally by way of Gmaps and comparatively by way of Social Media Apps).

So, the verdict of my digital detox is a 4.8/10! I had to use the phone for:

1. Meditation app (I need peace!!)

2. Water app (come-on that falls in the 'essential')

3. I had to talk to my bestie (social needs)

I can proudly say I didn't see the TV but that's not really an achievement because I watched YouTube videos on my phone (inspiration for growth) 😂😛

So anyway, that was all about my weekend.

Today is a new day, new week and I am rearing to go on with my task lists!

PS: Have you tried a digital detox lately? How was your experience? Would love to hear from you 😉😊

 

Junk food craving?!

 

I did for a quick evening snack! Let me tell you, Maggi for me is an emotion. The emotion of happiness and joy because I associate it with my youth. It represents a big part of my hostel days, late night group studies ending up in gossip sessions with my mates or the good old canteen days with hot steaming Maggi.

It took me the health hazard of PCOD to realize that all that tastes good may not necessarily be good for my health. So now a days, I rarely have fast food - only when I am not planned for my meals in advance and it is a long time that I have not had any of the “tasty fast food”.  

So, while I don’t endorse it, I would surely like to highlight one major mistake that we tend to do when having the “forbidden food” i.e. Having it with guilt and remorse! You have decided to have it so you might as well enjoy it.

Coming to the point of why do we feel like having junk food? It’s either because we are not hydrated properly, are already having a very poor imbalanced diet or we have been having some underlying psychological issues which need to be addressed.       

There is a lot of research done which indicate that the reason why we cave in to our junk food cravings is because of the sudden rush of energy or mood boost that we get due to the stimulating effect of high salty/sugary/oily/spicy food content that we consume.  

So, I have started maintaining a food journal where I jot down everything that goes into my mouth because I even tend to majorly dehydrate myself (I just don’t drink water😟😞). This journal helps me keep a track of my food log and also decide when and how to schedule my cheat days!

As they say “To live a full life, you have to fill your stomach first”!

Cheers 😊✌

A Cooking Fiasco??!!

 

It is 12.30 pm.

The hunger pangs are very strong for both my husband and me.

There is just one teeny weeny problem here.

The lady who cooks lunch has not yet done it today. 

Oh yes, I am talking about myself!! 😀😛.

There are days like today when I really wish that I had a 'cordon blue chef' waiting for my orders to start cooking for me and mine, in my kitchen.

But well, now that I have wasted a lot of time in day dreaming with no results, I have to prepare some food. Because I do become the “hangry” lady who starts shouting for no reason. And it will be an extreme torture for my poor man to handle both: his own hunger and the hangry lady at the same time 😊 😉

Anyway, I tell myself, 'I can totally ace the cooking game' – One big pressure cooker can solve all my problems. So I use the double decker – one filled with red pumpkin and other with Toor dal.

The easy part was done! Fixed the menu -- Pumkin Sabji (vegetable) and Dal (yellow lentil), some salad and chapatis!

Now, the difficult part, is making chapatis because I never get it right. Either the shape is not right or the roasting goes wrong.

Anyway, I put all my concentration into making the chapatis (totally forgetting the cooker)! Not like it was miles away from me but somehow, I still lost the count of the whistles from the cooker and the pumpkin was too squishy. While in parallel, to my horror, the onion and cumin seeds tempering that I had prepared for the dal got burnt too.

So in a last-ditch attempt to make some sense of all my cooking, I mixed it all up - the squishy pumpkin, the burnt tempering and the dal.

And Oh My God!    

You should have been here to taste it for yourself! 

It was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G

It tasted like a hotel served “dal tadka”.

The best part: my husband loved it and even praised it saying "its totally different than your usual style" 😂

Whatever happens, happens for the best!

 

P.S: I can confess to you dear reader:

1. I told my husband I prepared Dal Tadka with Chapati 😈

2. It may have been our acute hunger which added to the heavenly taste of the dal 😊

3. Maybe hotel chefs do put all their squishy unwanted veggies in the dal tadka, who knows 🙆

Sunday Special!

 

Hello Dearies,

Today I have got the Sunday thrills – it’s a feeling that I won’t be able to clearly define but even then, let me give it a shot.

“A happy feeling that for today you are your boss, today you can do anything with your time! It’s a liberation day” that’s what I mean by Sunday thrill :P

It’s a feeling that you have a choice to use your time like you wish to, no deadlines or work assignments/calls. Even your family members seem to be a little more relaxed!

So even if Sundays come every 7 days, the thrill I feel on each Sunday is just the same 😊😊

It’s like you have your life back, even if for a single day!

Here are some ways Sundays are special for me:

1. I consciously cook some yummy food and enjoy every morsel I eat with great gratitude.

2. I sip my coffee a bit longer – really savor it and there is no rush to finish it.

3. I take a nice cozy afternoon nap.

4. I pursue my hobbies: reading, writing!

5. I take some time for self-care – nice hair oil and luxurious warm scented bath!

6. I spend time with my loved ones. Earlier it used to be in person, now it’s on Video Calls. But hey, you do the best from what you have 😊

7. Try to learn something new – we are fortunate to have so many resources available to us. Last 2/3 times, I learnt some new cooking dishes on YouTube.

8. Catch up on your chores which have been pending through the weekdays, I do all my laundry on this day. I make it enjoyable by blasting some happy music and singing along!

9. Reflect on your past and plan for your future. Mind you, this should not happen with an anxious mind but with a calm mind. It is to aide you to be a better you (and not create any stress/tension, else it will be a futile exercise).

10. Spiritual Practices – I meditate on Sundays for sure. Nothing fancy – just chanting (japa) for 5-10 mins. Sometimes on Sundays I do it twice, once in morning and once in the evening. There is definitely some undeniable universal force which guides you.

P.S: Would love to know, how do you make your Sunday special??!

Meditation - It helps!

 

I was on a condolence call – she had just lost her dear father. Her voice was very calm and serene when she spoke of how they detected that her father had cancer and within 7 days she lost him. They had no time to treat him due to the difficult corona times and the unfortunate incident of doctor switching in those 7 days. The first doctor who diagnosed the cancer had to take some time off due to facing COVID symptoms.

She is very young and I was amazed by the matured way she was handling her profuse lose. Even elderly people would get flustered in such sudden unfortunate incidences of loss of a dear one!

Plucking up the courage, I asked her how did she handle things so calmly. She replied “Meditation. It helps.” 

That really blew my mind and somewhere deep down, I knew this was God’s signal to me to start my lost practice of meditation again.

I had started meditation during one of my low phases and really benefited by it. In those days, after continuous practice for 1 year, I had reached a point where nothing really fazed me. I could dissociate myself from any situation and overcome any turbulence in my day to day life.

Unfortunately, I was a fair-weather friend of “meditation”. I lost the practice when my good times knocked around the corner. It took the tough times of corona to remind me of it again. And my friend's simple but profound words – “Meditation. It helps.

P.S: How are you taking care of your mental health?

Early morning self-musings…

 

Today woke up really furious on myself.

I had just slept at 3 am, only to be woken up at 6 am with a loud alarm. Lack of sleep really makes me grumpy and jittery. But I have not been doing anything to remedy my lack of sleep. Today, in the early morning quiet, all my mind tells me is “you did wrong, you should not have wasted your time watching junk TV”. Unfortunately, the right time to tell this to myself is not today at 6 am but  yesterday at 10 pm when I was tempted to start watching TV instead of retiring to bed.

And I have been doing these blunders very often last few days, spoiling my health too in the bargain.

So, it’s very natural for me to get all worked up and angry on myself.

But is this the right way to deal with it now that the time has already slipped out of my hands?

While doing some self-reflection, I realize I am again making the wrong choices. Where is my self-compassion? Where is the love and forgiveness that I would have for my spouse when he would do the same thing? I would definitely get irritated with him but never this kind of extreme loathing towards him that I have for myself currently.

This is self-sabotage and I really need to help myself with finding out ways to deal with it.

I will do my best to look for solutions but in the meanwhile I wanted to remind both you and me “Sometimes the hardest things we need to do, are also inevitably the right choices you make for yourself”

When in doubt, remember this!

 

 

I have not been blogging that frequently. I know I love to put my words on paper and share my thoughts but somehow, I just could not bring myself to blog in these past few months. In fact, since the “you know who” virus – I have not really been my optimistic self. And I felt blogging something when I am myself not in a happy space, is a worthless task. That is until today, when I read one of my favorite poems. I hadn’t read it in a long while.

I would love to put a few lines of this poem for every one out there who, like me, are struggling with existential questions or not-so happy thoughts. To remind both you and me, that this too shall pass. And what remains, will just be memories of how we felt and what we did about or in spite of it. So, buck up and give your best shot to all that you do or face!

We all will just be fine and there will be light beyond the dark, promise!

If you can't be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can't be the sun be a star;
It isn't by size that you win or you fail —
Be the best of whatever you are!

P.S: For those who liked the above lines – they are from the poem ‘Be the Best of Whatever You Are’ by Douglas Malloch 👼Go read it – quick 2 mins read but will definitely stir up some inspiration👍

 

What pays??!

“I can’t take this stress anymore” She said.

“What stress??!!” I asked

“All around me my friends are getting married or having babies...!” She said softly, I could feel her sadness. She has been through a messy breakup recently.

And may be that’s why she had frantically called me late in the night. She is my adopted sister, almost younger than a decade. 

“Baby, you are still very young! Please don’t stress out due to comparisons with people around you. Each one comes to this life with their own set of experiences and problems. People usually share their happy experiences very easily but when it comes to problems or bad experiences – They would not be that open to sharing. So you don’t know their journeys in totality.” I thought being logical was the best thing.

“Hmmm”, her voice clearly indicating cynicism.

I knew I had to try harder to make her feel better. “Look at me now, I said, You know I had to wait long  till I found my husband. And he is the best thing that happened to me. Very caring, loving and best of all, very patient with me. I thank God everyday for having him in my life! Likewise, you too will find your mate. When the time is right, the right person will come along without any doubt. Till then go with the flow, your patience will pay”

Hearing my own voice felt so soothing. 

I could not believe it; I could be so compassionate and soothing to my sister but when it comes to my own self – this kindness totally vanishes. I lose patience. I want the perfect job, the perfect career, the perfect health, the perfect life. My slip ups make me really angry. I wonder when did this fascination with perfection start??! In theory, I know perfection is a myth.

Anyway, I would not want to preach something that I don’t follow myself. So, the day I heard myself say the words “go with the flow, your patience will pay” was the day I resolved to follow my own f***ing advice.

Patience is a virtue and can’t be imbibed suddenly out of the blue. But It’s also exactly what we should have in these uncertain times. Hence, I humbly offer the new mantra of my life “Patience with myself, Patience with others and finally Patience with our circumstances.” Sometimes I fail at it badly, sometimes I outshine my own expectations. 

But one has to keep trying, right?

   

The power of imagination

So, this blog is for all those wanderlusts who are caged in their houses due to the “you know who” virus.

This pandemic has given me a very profound understanding about myself. As in some of my self-reflections also put light on the fact that I just say that when I’ll have all the money I want  – I’ll travel the world. But the truth is, I just like the idea of spending carefree moments chilling, soaking up nature. 

In fact, the last couple of travel trips that I had, I could not sleep well because of the new locale, new bed, new noise. One hotel room was so horrifying because I knew there were 2 big lizards on the ceiling and I spent the whole night being so alert to noises and its movement that sleep was pathetic and so was my mood the next day of this trip 😴

Anyhow, I realized while I may have some struggles with it, I do like the notion of travelling and seeing different places, new cultures and new breadth taking views. But it would still be nice to have my own bed and my own comfortable room to sleep in at the end of the day. This gave me the brilliant idea 😎 I could have best of both the worlds during this pandemic 😇

I have started watching youtube videos of different places that catch my fancy for the day. I have learnt that you can put the key words “4k”, “utra HD”, “drone view” after any exotic place you wish to see and you will get a fantastic tour of the place. Put on your horse blinders and just focus on the sights - imagining yourself at the place. With practice, you will start feeling as if you really are there - soaking all the beauty in front of you. All this in the comfort of your pyjamas, in your bed, in your bedroom and in a very cost-effective way 😺

And while this may not be a very appealing idea to the traveler in your heart, come on buddy, it’s still a good option with the current restrictions of movement due to the “you know who”.

So, thanks to the power of imagination – I am both visiting all sorts of beautiful places creatively and getting the same feelings of thrill, excitement when watching a beautiful sunset or a beach with blue waters.

What are the ways in which you have been using your imagination and creativity in this phase of your life?

P.S: Ibiza, Positano, Switzerland, Como Lake, Iceland with the beautiful sighting of the Northern lights are all the places I have visited and enjoyed 😀 Needless to say virtually on my HD screen 😉

Calm In the Chaos

I’m back from the ashes or should I say ‘life’😀

Fear, Uncertainties, Insecurities, Pandemic, Corona Virus, national lockdowns, new life new schedules – I rest my case 😓

When Corona Virus hit India and me specifically, I didn’t know how to deal with it. And because I didn’t know myself well enough (more on that later), I exposed myself to all possible news about it. And each time I heard a negative news about the numbers going up, God knows, I sure did panic from knowing life is uncertain. The fear of facing a virus with no remedy is very very real.

After a while, I was able to pick myself up and find ways to deal with it.

So here are a few habits I learnt to deal with chaos:

1.     Embrace the reality: As much as I would have loved to avoid being in such an unpleasant world of pandemic, I realized the first step towards sanity was accepting and embracing the reality of the situation. Facing the reality at hand does help you calm the emotional turbulence within.

2.       Ignore the news: After a certain point, I realized reading the news is causing me more damage than making me aware of the current situation. I already had sufficient information on how to follow basic hygienic practices of wearing a mask, following social distancing. So, there is no point in following the increasing numbers of the impacted. Believe it or not, after I stopped following the news, I became much more peaceful. Afterall, ignorance is bliss.

3.       Practice Gratitude: I always knew about the benefits of gratitude. But in recent times, counting my blessings consciously really helped me 😇 I literally write them down each and every day (even if they are the same points like safety of loved ones, food, clothing, shelter etc). They say where focus goes, energy flows so essentially you are forcing your energies on the good rather than the gloomy.

4.       Know yourself better: This might be a very silly or profound point based on how well you know yourself. For me, I realized very late in the game that I am a sensitive person who can turn into a super neurotic one with the slightest of stimulus. Bad/sad news turns my mental frame of mind into total crap. And the cycle will not end in a few couple of hours, I tend to sulk and ruminate on the news forever. I might also manifest all sorts of symptoms of ‘the said virus’. I may not even sleep well for days together due to same. So, it is good to do some self-introspection and find ways to soothe ourselves. Doing things you love and NOT doing the things which hurt you are definitely a good starter.

5.       Keep yourself busy: I can’t really take full credit for this one 😅 But well, being the housewife has its own perks. Cooking meals 4 times a day (4 hrs. in the kitchen), cleaning & dusting your house, all other menial tasks to keep a house running used to be boring earlier. But in this pandemic, I chose to use these to become a better “errand girl” version of myself. Also, I try to listen to happy music, interesting podcasts while doing the chores which bring in some fun element into the monotonous. Remember our mothers listening to radios while cooking? Boy, were they smart!

So, here’s hoping to new times, new beginnings where we are safely out of this pandemic. I pray with all my heart that each one of us comes out of this situation with more health, vitality and resilience to face life after the worst is over 💖Amen!

P.S: Thanks to the lovely one who pushed me to start writing again 🙏 Your nudge may have awakened the writer in me again. Hopefully this blog does not feel very preachy or indicative of diarrhea writing disorder 👍