Go awayyyyyyyy!

There I was screaming in panic.

"Sushhhhh, go away......Please!!!!" I was trembling.

Almost in tears seeing how helpless I felt.

I was alone at home. My protector, my dearest husband was not at home. These are the moments when I really really thank God with all my heart for this brave and fearless man in my life!

It was as if I had attracted this situation on me. Just a few days back, I had thought, this summer we are lucky not have them in our house!

"Go awayyyyyyyy......!!!!!!" I pleaded sincerely.

Unfortunately our window is open and the aunty, who stays in a building facing us, can see me going crazy.

"Is it a cat?", asked the aunty in concern. Guess she is afraid of cats..

"No worse. It is a very large lizard. And it is crawling on the floor and not on the ceiling". I said.

"Ha ha ha" laughed aunty. She told her husband (who was also peering at me). "It is just a lizard!"

What?  Both of them sipping tea and laughing! It is not a joke..!!!

It is a breach of trust by the lizard community. Lizards are supposed to be on the ceiling, top half of the room. But this one brushed by my feet, on the floor.... Yuckkkkk. And now it was looking at me from a little distance, as if, planning to attack me.

I was panicking like no business. I felt silly doing this but I messaged on my Family Watsapp group: "Please Help!!!! Big lizard at home". I pinged my best friend the same.

I can understand, all my dear ones were busy in office. But I needed urgent help, I was desperate.

I went to another room, locked myself up for the rest of the day.  

I know this makes me look like a loony person. At some level, even I felt I was acting like one.

So I read up a lot on fear. Realised I was not alone. There are people who have irrational fears of some things. Sometimes it is very apparent, like my case. Sometimes it is not.  Some people do not even realise they have some unconscious fears picked up during childhood, which may hold them back in life.

Best part is, Fear is treatable. Understanding and analysing our fears can truly be helpful. As fear is sometimes a subset of stress or anxiety.  According to Psychology Today, Fear is a neurophysiological response to a perceived threat, instantly releasing our fight-or-flight response. A sympathetic approach can lead to cure.  

I had forgotten all about the above episode which happened last summer, a year back. 

Today I write about it because I just now saw a big, black lizard on my window curtain.

I am happy to inform you that, yours truly, equipped with my knowledge of last year's research,  was more peaceful. I calmly looked at the lizard, like really looked at it. It was a little more in length than my palm.

I compassionately told myself, "It is ok. You are allowed to feel fear. But it won't do a thing to you." I willed it to go out of my window. And I went to another room. 

I tried to forget it completely but seems like it is not going away. So I write about it and hopefully then it's out of my mind. (Yes, writing is therapeutic for me!)

So kudos to all of you fighting your fears - looking it in the eye, being kind to self and eventually someday conquering it completely !